The third aspect we need to look at is their grandiosity and their fake victimhood. Narcissists love to talk about themselves. Listen to how they describe their own character. They’ll constantly tell you, “I’m the most honest person you’ll ever meet. I hate drama. I’m an empath. I give too much to people.”
They’ll also tell you tragic stories about their past. They’ll say, “All of my exes were crazy. My former boss was out to get me. I’ve just been used by everyone in my life.”
Apply the exact opposite. When someone has to constantly announce out loud that they are a good, honest person, it’s because they’re desperately trying to cover up the fact that they’re a fraud. Real honest people don’t have to advertise their honesty. They just live it.
And when a narcissist tells you, “I hate drama,” the exact opposite is true. They’re the main manufacturer of drama, and they feed on it to survive.
And when they tell you that all of their exes were crazy and abusive, the exact opposite is the terrifying truth. Their exes were probably normal, loving people who were driven to the brink of insanity by the narcissist’s psychological torture. The narcissist was the abuser in every single one of their stories.
By telling you they are the ultimate victim, they’re confessing that they are the ultimate predator.
Finally, we need to look at their promises of love and the future. This is the hardest one for us survivors to accept.
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