Apply the rule of inversion. Believe the exact opposite. They don’t think you’re a cheater. They know you’re deeply loyal. The truth is they’re the ones who are cheating. They’re the ones who are lying. They’re the ones entertaining other people on their phone.
It’s like a thief running through a crowded market, pointing at an innocent person and screaming, “Catch the thief! Catch the thief!” They accuse you of betrayal to keep you on the defensive—so you’re too busy defending your own character to investigate theirs.
When they call you a liar, the exact opposite is true. You’re the honest one, and they’re the one currently lying to your face.
Second, let’s look at how they attack your intelligence and your worth.
During an argument, a narcissist will look at you with total disgust and say, “You’re crazy. You’re too sensitive. You’re making it up. You’re stupid. You have no idea what you’re doing. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
And you would be absolutely nothing without me. When you hear this, it crushes you. You start to believe it. You think they truly view you as a pathetic, incompetent loser.
But what happens when we apply this rule of inversion again? We find the real confession. They don’t think you’re crazy or stupid. The exact opposite is true. They look at you and they see someone incredibly smart, highly capable, and deeply stable.
In fact, your stability terrifies them. Your intelligence is a massive threat to their control. If you’re smart, you’ll figure out their games. If you’re stable, you’ll eventually realize you don’t need their chaos.
When they call you crazy, what they’re really confessing is, “My internal world is total chaos, and I’m terrified of how put together you are.”
When they say, “You’re nothing without me,” they’re loudly confessing, “I am absolutely nothing without you, and I need to break your confidence so you never figure that out.” They attack your brightest qualities because those are the exact qualities they’re the most jealous of.
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