These are two traits that are very common in the narcissistic personality. They want to believe—actually, they believe—that they are always right, that everyone else around them has got it wrong, and that they are the only one who knows the truth.
But as you and I both know, that is completely flawed and skewed. It is impossible. They cannot know all of it, of course—and in fact, none of us knows all of it. There is always room for learning.
So they don’t think that way. They think they are all perfect. They don’t think they have anything to learn. They don’t think they have anything to take in. They either know the subject without truly knowing it, or they pretend to know it.
But when they are proven wrong by someone—for example, in a court case—they have arguments that make sense on the surface level. But when you dig in, and you have your counterarguments ready, and they are solid—when they clearly expose them and prove them wrong—they are shaken to their core.
They are shaken because they can’t accept that they have been defeated. Anyone else—especially you, because you were the primary victim—knows better than them. And that is what gives them a major injury. That is what shocks them.
They can’t accept that they were defeated by a “stupid,” naive person like you—because in their minds, their intellect is godlike, their knowledge is superior, and they are morally and in other ways superior to everyone else.
It’s almost like it puts them in a state of denial and crisis, because they can’t accept defeat. Winning is what they have to do. Defeat is not a word in their vocabulary.
Before we move to number five, I’m curious to know: was there anything that you did that shocked the narcissist deeply? Drop your experiences in the comments below and share them with other survivors, so your experiences can be validated.
Number five: When you do not feed them anything—any emotion—and when you become very bland in confrontation and conversations.
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