Number three, you practice reverse gaslighting by using their own words against them. A narcissist loves to make up twisted, impossible rules for you to follow. They use gaslighting to make you feel like you’re always failing, always making mistakes, and always breaking the rules of the relationship. But the biggest secret of a narcissist is that they never have any intention of following those rules themselves. These rules are strictly built as a prison to keep you trapped and behaving.
In the third stage of deactivation, you turn their prison upside down through reverse gaslighting. You stop arguing with their unfair logic. Instead, you wholeheartedly accept the rules and immediately hold them to their own standards. You turn their logic into a trap.
Yet the narcissist looks at you and proudly says, “In a healthy house, people should have total honesty and should not keep any secrets on their phones.”
You do not argue about their hypocrisy. You instantly say, “I think that is a wonderful rule. Let us start right now. Swap phones with me and let’s look through everything together.”
You watch them break down. When you agree with their words and try to apply them, the narcissist will instantly freeze. They will start stuttering, making wild excuses, and trying to change the subject because they cannot survive the very standards they created to control you.
By using their own words as a weapon, you stop being the defense lawyer in your own life. You force them to deal with the ridiculous traps they built. Every time they try to gaslight you, their own words bounce straight back into their face, and that makes it way too expensive and exhausting for them to keep playing games with you.
Number four: you shock their circuit through absolute indifference.
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