Number four: Why are you so threatened by my differences?
Differences are appreciated in any healthy relationship. They lead to compromise. Compromise happens only when you understand each other. Differences bring you closer.
You don’t need to like the same things to be the same person as your partner. That doesn’t lead to growth—it becomes boring eventually.
If there are certain differences in choices—not major differences, but small ones—you like something, they like something else. You think differently. Your perspective is different. Your knowledge and understanding are entirely different from what they’ve collected for years. That brings excitement, because there is so much to explore and learn about each other.
In a narcissistic relationship, that is the biggest sin: you cannot be different than them. You cannot think differently than them. You cannot believe anything else.
Why? Because you’re supposed to be a minion.
You have to dress the way they want you to dress. You have to eat what they want you to eat. You have to breathe the way they want you to breathe.
I’m giving you this smaller example to help you understand: you are nothing but an extension of a narcissist. A product they created. A trophy that has to always glitter the way they want you to glitter.
You have to be nothing but a pet. You have to be a doll. An object. A piece of furniture. You have to always be in the position they set you in.
You have to move when they tell you. You have to dance when they pull the strings. This is what your life is about in their head.
So how come you think for yourself? How come you have an identity?
How dare you ask questions?
5. What are some of your biggest hurts and pains?
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