And again, I need you to hear me. That’s not a weakness. That’s conditioning. And the way out is not proving yourself to the narcissist. The way out is rebuilding self-trust—one small act at a time, one boundary at a time, one truth at a time, and one “no” at a time.
Now, there’s another theft that doesn’t get talked about enough: narcissistic abuse steals your capacity for joy.
And I want to say something here that might surprise you. A lot of high-achieving women think they’re fine because they’re functioning, but inside, they’re completely numb. They can’t feel excitement. They can’t feel desire. They can’t feel playfulness or creativity. They can’t relax into pleasure.
And it’s not because they’re ungrateful. It’s because their nervous system has been on high alert for far too long. Joy requires safety. Peace requires safety. Creativity and play require safety.
When your system is perpetually braced for impact, you don’t have access to the full range of you. So if you’re thinking, “I used to feel more alive,” that’s not you disappearing. That’s you protecting yourself.
Now, we need to talk about something that hits really hard, especially for women 50-plus: time.
Narcissistic abuse steals time—years, decades, dreams postponed, plans delayed. Your life is put on hold while you wait for them to change, while you try harder, while you explain it differently—while you become more patient, more understanding, and more forgiving.
And the moment you stop handing them your future, you start getting your life back. Even if you’re 45, 55, 65, or older, you can create a life that feels like you again.
Now, let’s talk about another heartbreaking theft: narcissistic abuse steals relationships and support systems.
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