So what the narcissist sees in this moment is you in the position where they want to be, right? They want to be the ones living their best lives. They want to be the ones making other people jealous and making other people feel bad.
And so they’re going to attempt to balance the scales in that way. They’re going to try to knock you down in any way they can.
Usually when this happens, in order for you to live your best life, you have to cut the narcissist out of your life completely—if you can—or as much as you can.
At this point, the best they can do is show you that they’re happier, right? They see you living your best life. You look happy. Everything’s great. So they need to go in full force to show you that you didn’t matter—to show you they’re doing even better than you are—and that you meant nothing to them.
So what happens now?
Now the narcissist is desperate for that. They’re desperate to show you—put on a show—rather than actually be happy. They may or may not know that this isn’t possible—that they can’t actually be happy—but they want to create the illusion that they are.
And at this point, when we’re desperate, we don’t always make the best decisions, right? So they’re desperate to prove something to you, and they’re going to be making poor decisions about who they let into their life—who they choose to replace you.
And this can happen in all kinds of relationships, but I have to say it most often happens in romantic relationships.
So the narcissist will replace you almost instantly. As soon as you decide you’re done, you’re over it, and you’re not going back—all you have to do is sit back and wait. In six months, they’ll be engaged—or maybe even married. This happens all the time with narcissists. And if you don’t believe me, start reading the comments.
So you might be thinking now, “Well, how is this bad karma for them? Because it feels like they’re living their best life. It looks like they’re living their best life.”
But remember the desperation.
When you are desperate to find someone to fill a space—and desperate to show somebody that they don’t matter to you—remember narcissists use people as pawns. Everyone is replaceable, and people are completely interchangeable, like Lego blocks, right?
According to a narcissist, you just plug somebody else into that role and all is good. It’s the same thing, right?
But if you’ve been out there dating ever, you know things aren’t that simple. It’s not that easy to find somebody who’s truly compatible with you.
And now, take it a step further: think about the kind of person who might overlook all the love-bombing red flags that are going to be coming their way. We don’t want to be hard on that person, because we were once in those shoes, right?
And you may have been a replacement for someone else. If you believe you were with a narcissist, it’s very likely you were a replacement for someone else.
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