So this is not about shaming anyone who has bad feelings—or maybe even wants revenge. Those feelings are understandable. But again, like I said, really for our own healing, we want to shift away from those thoughts and feelings toward our own well-being, happiness, and future.
But the reason those feelings come up is that it feels like there is such an imbalance. After a relationship like this, you feel like you’ve been emotionally beat up. You’ve been put through the wringer, and you might even feel like a shell of yourself.
Depending on where you are and what you’ve been through, this person may have dragged your name through the mud. They may have turned people against you. You might be dealing with some very real consequences of narcissistic abuse still in your life today.
So if you’re having those feelings, it is understandable. But like I said, there’s a plot twist I want to offer you here today.
And I hope this concept—and this little twist—can help you separate yourself from the idea of revenge, or help you separate yourself from thinking about when or how the narcissist might get their karma. Because that’s one important step that needs to happen before you can move on.
So the one thing that you’ll hear pretty often is that being a narcissist is karma in itself. And I wholeheartedly agree with that. But I know that for me when I was going through it, it just didn’t feel like enough. It felt hollow and empty.
It wasn’t really until much later that I could see things clearly for what they were. I could see what a miserable existence it is to live your life that way.
Now let’s look at a comment that really illustrates this.
“Well, I think karma is knowing the exorcist will probably never change and use the new supply as I was used. I know now that they’re probably very unhappy deep inside, but they paint a rosy picture, which must be exhausting.
In the long term, this must surely impact their mental health. So the truth is that narcissists are very likely to suffer from anxiety and depression, just as victims of narcissistic abuse are. But the difference is that victims of narcissistic abuse are likely to get help, and narcissists are not.
So it becomes a life of suffering, and in many ways it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. They are causing their own suffering and prolonging it by not getting help for it.”
So how might you have played a role in the narcissist’s karma?
Number one: if you ended the relationship with a narcissist—if you were the one to discard first—this would cause a narcissistic injury.
Now, I hope that if you were the one to discard first, you’ve heard enough warnings that in this place, you never take a narcissist back.
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