Don’t take them at face value.
Narcissists are deceptive. Pretty much everything about them is a deception. It’s not just that you can’t trust their words—as you know, they are constantly lying—but the image they present to the world is also a deception. Image is everything to them. They work incredibly hard to present a facade of superiority. But underneath that shiny facade is people with narcissism feel empty. The presentation that they give, the image that they portray, is not an accurate depiction of who they truly are. If you take them at face value, if you believe the image they are presenting is an accurate account of who they are, you are in for a rude awakening.
Don’t over share personal information.
Narcissists are always trying to learn as much information about you as possible. The more personal information you give to a narcissist, the more ammunition they have to use against you. Narcissist information about you to use against you at a later date—that’s just how they operate. So whatever you share with them, they will use at a later date to either humiliate, ridicule, manipulate, or even blackmail you. Many times the way to use this information against you is until you’re like in a very vulnerable position, or maybe you’re in need. Do not share any information with someone you think could possibly be a narcissist that they could ever use against you. The less you share with people like this, the better.
Don’t assume they share your virtues.
A big mistake empathetic people make is that we assume that all people are empathetic and compassionate and actually care about doing the right thing. We tend to project our core character traits onto everyone else around us, and that is a very big problem. When we do this with a narcissist, it’s hard for us to understand that there are people in this world who are just looking for an opportunity to take advantage of you—and in the most deceitful and deceptive ways, usually disguised as an angel or hero. But there are—just cannot make any assumptions when it comes to a person’s virtues in their character. You must only base your beliefs about someone based on consistent patterns of behavior. And many times it will take time for you to know for sure. Do not believe that everyone else thinks and feels the way you do. This can be dangerous and can get you into a lot of trouble.
Don’t try and beat them at their own game.
Sometimes when we discover what a narcissist has actually done behind our backs, and the harm that they haven’t intentionally caused, we want to react and get revenge. It certainly is normal to want to get even with people like this. But you need to remember: most narcissists have spent their lives perfecting their manipulation and smear campaigns. These people are more manipulative and do more things in one week than some people commit in their entire life. The only thing that a narcissist truly cares about is winning at all costs and in all circumstances. Because this has been a pattern of behavior they have adopted when they were very, very young, if you try and go up against a narcissist, it would be a war between a seasoned pro and a complete amateur. Chances are you’re not going to win. And in fact it will escalate the abusive behaviors of the narcissist. Just don’t challenge them. Stay true to your values and who you are as a person. It just isn’t worth it.
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