Don’t take their actions personally.
This is a hard one, but it’s so important to understand that narcissists take advantage of anyone that they can. They will say and do the most hurtful and cruel things to the people who are closest to them. So you have got to understand that it is not you. They would treat anyone like this given the opportunity. This is just how they are made. This is what they do. This is what they do to make themselves feel superior—to degrade and humiliate other people. It’s just—it’s not personal. Even though their hatred may be aimed at you, it is not you. It is nothing personal. It is just what these people do. And if they were not doing it to you, trust me, they would be doing and saying the same things to someone else.
Do not ever depend on them financially.
Except financial help, loan them money, or sign contracts with them. Having any financial ties to a narcissist is going to be a nightmare. I cannot stress this enough. Anything has to do with money only serves to either control you or take advantage of you. Nothing else. If you loan them money, you will never see that money again. If you sign a loan with them, they will ruin your credit. If they want to financially support you, the goal is to control you. Many narcissists believe if they financially support you then that’s their free pass to abuse you whenever they feel like it. There is just no such thing as a free gift with an abuser. You will always pay the price in more ways than one. If you are financially dependent on a narcissist, you should immediately start taking steps to become financially independent. It is so difficult to be able to protect yourself if they are the ones who controlled the finances. Do not get entangled with a narcissist and finances in any way. You will live to regret that.
Don’t expect empathy or fairness.
The biggest identifying trait of a narcissist is lack of empathy. They are incapable of feeling empathy for other people. Empathy is based on the assumption that a person is worthy or equal or deserving of compassion. Narcissists don’t believe anyone is an equal. Their grandiosity leads them to see others as either inferior or completely undeserving of compassion. Do not ever expect a narcissist to reciprocate normal human kindness. You will be disappointed every single time.
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