A narcissist has to stay in control of the situation and keep getting supply from you at all times possible—especially when you are not in their physical presence. They have to influence you to keep you under their thumb.
One of the easiest—and best—ways to do so is via texting. When they can’t control you directly, they control you through their weird texting habits. And that is what we are going to talk about in this episode.
Number One: They text you whenever they want to text you
Texting non-stop and demanding constant attention
They don’t care about your boundaries. They don’t care about the time—whether you are sleeping, waking up, or who you are with. If you are in a meeting, none of that is important for them. What is important to a narcissist is getting your attention and having it on them at all times possible.
Why? A narcissist thinks they own you. You are theirs—so your attention has to be on them. You can’t focus on your own things. You can’t focus on your job. You can’t focus on basic life functioning activities. It has to be on them at all times.
If it is not, it is seen as a form of betrayal and disloyalty. So you become hooked to your phone. You are constantly near your phone because you are becoming anxious and hypervigilant around their texting behavior. You don’t know when you are going to get their message or when you will be required to respond. Early on, it is very intense. It’s always back and forth—back and forth—day and night.
You’re constantly on your phone, and you start thinking that they are really into you. It’s quite intense. They are trying to get to know you, but it’s not real—it’s about the attention. They need this attention. They demand it from you because they are exerting control over you.
They kind of get you into the trap, and when you’re in the trap, they leave you in the middle of nowhere. Now that they’ve lost interest in you, devaluation starts, and you are left in a bubble of chaos. They got you addicted to this texting pattern, and now they leave you while you have to deal with the consequences—altered nervous system, anxiety, stress, and urges you suddenly have on your own. They literally change your biochemistry through this texting behavior: the constant demand for attention.
Number Two: They’re constantly online texting other people when they are with you physically
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