Don’t do this ever: when you’re ready to distance yourself from the narcissist or end the relationship, that’s when they suddenly change or pretend to change. It’s as if they put on a different persona and show you a kind, nice side of themselves. They act like they’re willing to go to therapy and promise you the world, saying they’ll do whatever it takes to become a better person. This applies to any narcissist, whether they’re your partner, friend, or even your parent. If they sense that you’re about to leave them and that you are their primary source of validation, they will do everything they can to keep you, even if it means suppressing their urge to control and punish you. They want to keep you there until they feel you’re back in their grasp and can be subjected to abuse, repeating the cycle again.
We’ll discuss when a narcissist seems to love you the most and how you should handle such situations. I’ll also talk about the thought process you should have. If this topic interests you, please consider subscribing if you haven’t already, as your subscription helps to raise awareness about narcissistic abuse.
Narcissistic relationships typically go through three stages: idealization, devaluation, and discard. During the love bombing stage, many things happen. The narcissist creates an illusion, and you fall for it. But then, slowly, they start devaluing you and withdrawing the attention they once gave you. You’re ignored, and they behave differently. Finally, the discard phase happens, and there can be various ways that plays out. I won’t go into the details here. What’s important to understand is the repeated cycle of being idealized and then devalued, and how this affects your mindset. I’ll also share strategies for dealing with this cycle if you’re trapped in it.
The narcissist actually depends on you more than you depend on them. They are like parasites; there is no emotional depth or genuine connection inside them. They are emotionally dead. What you see is a living body without true emotions or spirituality. They interact with the world like a zombie. I hope that makes sense. They rely on you for their emotional sustenance; they feed off your emotions to feel alive and keep going. If you stop providing those emotions, they will wither away.
That being said, it’s not easy for them to let you go, especially if you are their main source of support. They heavily rely on you. To them, you are an extension of themselves, and they live through you. You represent what they aspire to be but cannot achieve on their own, so you hold significant importance in their lives.
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