In the beginning, despite feeling that energetic shift, they are in total denial. They are so arrogant, so convinced of their godlike status in your life, that they cannot conceive of a world where you actually leave them. They view your silence as a game, thinking it’s just one of those moods you struggle with or a negotiation tactic. They believe you are merely acting, waiting for them to chase you, so they do not show panic yet. Instead, they call your bluff, ignore you harder, leave your things at their house, and don’t block you. They keep their schedule exactly the same, waiting for you to break. They expect an “I miss you” text or a long paragraph explaining why you are hurt. They are sitting back, looking at their phone, thinking, “She’ll be back. He’ll be back. They always come back.”
They feel smug because they think they still have the control they used to. They are giving you the silent treatment, believing they are punishing you, not realizing that you are actually moving on.
Stage Two: The Safety Breaker Stage
As time passes and you do not text, call, or show up as expected, they move to the second stage: the Safety Breaker Stage. This is where their ego takes a hit. They realize their silence is not working as they wanted it to, so they decide to force a reaction out of you. If they cannot get positive supply, like your love and admiration, they will settle for negative supply—your anger and pain. Attention is attention. If you are yelling at them, you are still thinking about them.
What do they do? They become the Safety Breaker, doing one specific thing they know will trigger you. They might post a picture with a new partner just days after you split, captioning it with an inside joke you two shared, or send a cruel text about your biggest insecurity. They might show up at a place they know you will be. They are not doing this because they are happy; they do this to break your indifference. They want you to explode and send that angry text. Because if you do, what happens? They can sigh with relief and say, “Oh, there she is. There he is. She’s still obsessed with me. He’s still thinking about me.” It soothes their narcissistic anxiety to know they still have the power to hurt you.
If you stay strong, remaining what is popularly known as a grey rock and refuse to react, they enter the third and most dangerous stage: the Chameleon Shift.
Stage Three: The Chameleon Shift
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
Leave a Comment