This is a manipulation tactic commonly used by the narcissist in an attempt to maintain the upper hand in the relationship. When a narcissist gives you the silent treatment, it’s meant to devalue you. It sends a very clear message, and their intent is to hurt you deeply if they can. So, don’t kid yourself; they want you to feel invisible and worthless. Furthermore, it also serves as a way to manipulate and control you. The primary intended purpose of the silent treatment is to provoke an emotional reaction and manipulate you into jumping through hoops, trying to win back their attention and approval.
Believe me, this is precisely why narcissists use the silent treatment and will often give others the cold shoulder, treating them with unprovoked and unwarranted contempt and disdain. They assume you will be just as bothered by this passive-aggressive tactic as they would be. And when you aren’t the least bit phased, when you don’t fall right into line, dancing like a puppet on strings to the beat of their drum, they’ll be sure to take it to the next level. Narcissists are nothing if not predictable. Once you spot the pattern and realize you’ve been caught in this abuse cycle, the thing you need to accept is that this toxic person is not going to change. Once this nonsense begins, it does not get better, not in any real or lasting way. If it looks like things are improving in the short term, understand that’s temporary, and you are being manipulated and lied to so you’ll stay in the game.
Now, with all of that said, what happens when you turn the tables and dare to ignore the narcissist entirely? Well, they hate it. Even if they try to hide that fact, I assure you, fully ignoring the narcissist for any length of time is going to inspire deeply negative emotions in them. Why is that? To begin with, narcissistic people are very addicted to being seen as special. Nothing communicates that you are not at all or in any way special more clearly than ignoring them entirely. They also need to be the one in control, and few things communicate you are not in control more clearly than, you guessed it, ignoring them entirely.
When you ignore someone with a destructive narcissistic personality pattern, you are demonstrating that they are fully and completely powerless, at least where you are concerned, which they cannot stand. In fact, it drives them crazy. What many people don’t know is that those on the spectrum of destructive narcissism lack personal power. No matter what things look like on the surface, I assure you that deep down, they are powerless beings where genuine, authentic personal power is concerned. Having anything or anyone shine a light and expose their fundamental lack of personal power is painful for the narcissist. Their sense of self-importance is shattered when it becomes clear that they are powerless to affect, dominate, manipulate, or control you. The influence, control, or hold they may have once had over you is breaking. This is a serious problem for a destructive narcissist.
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