Another trigger for a narcissistic man is how comfortable you are within yourself. Most women do not realize how threatening that is for him. You move through life with an inner ease he has never experienced. You know who you are and do not second-guess your emotions. You can be soft, strong, and expressive without questioning your worth. For him, every emotion feels risky, every moment of closeness feels dangerous, and every instance of honesty feels exposing. Your natural confidence irritates him because his inner clarity makes him feel unstable and confused.
This leads him to dominate, belittle, or undermine your confidence piece by piece. A dark aspect of this dynamic is that a narcissistic man often competes with you for the attention of the man he is emotionally tied to. You may notice subtle signs, such as his irritation when that man praises you or discredits you behind your back. He does not want the man he admires to notice your strengths because it threatens the position he is attempting to maintain in his life.
He may imitate your qualities if that man compliments him, copying your tone, confidence, humor, and speaking style. By doing this, he hopes to be the version of you that he believes the man prefers. Your presence around that man reveals a side of him that you may not have seen—an insecure, competitive, desperate for validation man who constantly checks whether he is being noticed more than you. If he senses that the man is more comfortable with you, he turns against you instantly, fearing you may take the emotional position he covets.
This is why he can appear possessive when that man gives you attention, criticizes you more brutally after being around him, or becomes cold and distant when that man acknowledges you positively. You do not trigger jealousy in a romantic sense; instead, you evoke jealousy in the one area where he cannot face being replaced. The disturbing truth is that you were never competing with another woman; you were competing with the emotional attachment he has with that man, and he will sabotage you, lie about you, and destroy your peace to maintain his standing in that man’s good graces.
Additionally, narcissistic men often display inconsistent affection. Their sudden interest in you occurs when they feel ignored or unimportant compared to the man they are emotionally tied to. His attention toward you does not stem from genuine affection; it arises from deep insecurity. When the other man fails to give him attention or praise, he returns to you to fill the void he feels. This inconsistency in his affection is tied to the emotional temperature of his interactions with the other man. When that man pays him attention again, he drops you instantly because you are no longer needed to validate his self-worth.
This painful truth reveals a disturbing form of regulation; you are merely a quick fix he uses to avoid sitting with the anxiety that arises when the other man pulls away. This is why the relationship never feels stable; he does not treat you as a partner but as a backup for his insecurities.
Sharing is caring!
Leave a Comment