narcissistic man’s entire identity is built on proving to others that he is everything society wants him to be. He goes to great lengths to protect his false image of being masculine, desirable, and in control. In some cases, they even create the illusion of being straight. However, not every narcissistic man is gay in orientation; many are not attracted to men. Those who are often hide it—not merely out of fear of coming out of the closet, though that may be part of it. They do so instead because they are ashamed of who they are, and more importantly, they are ashamed of what others may think.
These types of men do not stop with their shame. They make you their sacrificial goat, bearing the shield that preserves their false image and allows them to be seen as a married man, despite the fact that their marriage is often lifeless. There is a common misconception that these men sleep with other women out of lust, when in reality, they cheat on their partners to convince themselves they are straight, which they are not. Sometimes the truth is darker and even more humiliating. These men use women as weapons to hurt the men they are actually emotionally attached to. This side of narcissism is rarely discussed because it makes people uncomfortable, but we need to speak the truth.
These men perform well in bed, but they do not feel real intimacy. They exaggerate, dominate, brag, and act not because they enjoy the experience, but because they use intimacy as a tool for identity protection. It exposes the identity crisis behind their arrogance and reveals the emotional dependency they hide behind their so-called straight masculinity. It shows their weakness when no one is watching. A narcissistic man who sleeps with you to wound another man is not confused but is fully aware of his reality; he hides from the truth to mask his shame, using you as a prop in his performance, much like how a narcissistic mother may have used lies to protect her own reality in childhood.
He understands that society will question two men who are unusually close, so instead, he uses a woman to rewrite his narrative. He creates an image: “Look, I’m sleeping with her. I have a family with her. I’m normal. I am desired.” But that is not the truth.
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