Narcissists try their best to appear fearless. They make it seem like they have zero weaknesses or vulnerabilities, but in truth, they are cowards. They have buttons that, when pushed, cause them to act out of character, resulting in a loss of control and stability. The facade they put on crumbles, and their fragile, broken true self comes to the surface.
What are their biggest fears?
Fear Number One: When They Can’t Manipulate You
Narcissists depend on the information they can extract from observing your emotional state, trying to understand what you’re thinking and how you perceive them. They strategize their moves, knowing how to control you using your own emotional map. However, when you become unpredictable, when you are flat-faced and there is no feedback for them, they go crazy. They become distressed because they do not know what you are thinking about them, whether you see them as they wish to be seen, or if you are ready to give them admiration and validation.
This is a primary reason why narcissists are terrified of being around neurodivergent individuals, particularly those on the spectrum. Such individuals express emotions differently from neurotypical people, which confuses narcissists, causing their usual manipulative scripts to fail. This unpredictability can lead to further abusive behavior, as they resort to more painful methods when they cannot easily control their target.
Fear Number Two: Exposure
Narcissists are terrified of exposure. You may argue that narcissists love attention, and you would be correct—but only when that attention comes from admiration and validation. They crave positive exposure where their weaknesses remain hidden. However, the bad type of exposure reveals the narcissist’s true self, showing how weak they are and breaking down their carefully crafted image.
For example, exposing how terrible they are as parents or revealing their infidelities shatters their false image. This can lead to a catastrophic ego injury or even a narcissistic collapse. They fear losing their sources of supply, especially if those sources connect with one another and believe your claims about the narcissist.
Fear Number Three: A Person With a Strong Sense of Self
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