The second behavior is a game changer. You mute the audio to clearly see the architecture of the manipulation. Narcissists are magicians with words. They are incredibly skilled at talking. They use what we call “word salad.” They talk in circles, use big words, and bring up history. They blame your mother and father or the weather. They throw so many words at you that you become dizzy. If you listen to the words, you will always lose. You will get trapped in the maze, finding yourself defending things you did not even do or say. The person who cannot be manipulated does something very specific: they press the internal mute button. Imagine you are watching a movie featuring the narcissist, but you turn the volume all the way down to zero. You cannot hear their excuses, their “I love you”s, or their blame; you can only see their actions. When you mute the audio, the manipulation becomes obvious. You see someone who claims to love you but is yelling at you. You see someone who promises to change but is doing the exact same thing they did yesterday. You stop participating in the argument and become a scientist observing a specimen. You look at them and think, “Oh, look at that. He is playing the victim again. Oh, she is deflecting and changing the subject.” You start to see the structure of the game. You recognize the pattern. Once you see the pattern, you stop taking it personally; you realize it is just a script they are reading from. You cannot be tricked by a magic trick once you understand how it works.
Speaking of this kind of awakening, I recently conducted a master class on how to become the person no narcissist can tolerate. I covered in depth how to find your internal locus of control, how to connect with your authentic self, and how to establish non-negotiables—all of this to make it impossible for these individuals to abuse you. If you missed the master class, you can still grab the recording and resources, which are available for a limited time only. I have pinned the link in the comments and posted it in the description of this video.
Behavior 3: Protecting Your Inner World
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