Reason number one is that they are running a race while looking backward at you. You cannot win a race if your head is constantly turned around to see where your opponent is. The narcissist’s entire focus is outward, on you. Even after the relationship ends or after they have discarded you, they’re still obsessed with you through their own envy. They spend their days stalking your social media, asking mutual friends about you, and trying to calculate your next move. Because their energy is consumed by the competition, they have zero energy left for the finish line. Think about the psychological toll of that. While you are focusing on your own lane—your health, career, and new connections—the narcissist is living in a reactive state. They do not make moves based on what they want; they make them based on what they think will outdo or hurt you. If you get a new car, they have to get a more expensive one they can’t afford. If you find a new partner, they have to find someone they can parade in front of you. They are not living their life; they’re simply reacting to yours. This makes them totally stagnant. They cannot motivate, grow, or find peace because their GPS is locked onto your location instead of their own destination. By the time they realize they’re at a wall, you’re miles ahead, living a life they can no longer see.
Reason 2: Wasting Prime Years on Sabotage
Number two: they waste their prime years on sabotage instead of evolution. Time is the one resource that even a narcissist cannot manipulate, yet they waste it as if it’s infinite. Think about the sheer volume of labor that goes into a smear campaign. It takes thousands of hours to craft lies, triangulate family members, manufacture evidence, and maintain a web of deception across multiple social circles. Those were hours, days, and years they could have used to build a business, learn a skill, or develop true character. Instead of evolving, they invested their prime years into a construction project of hate. They are architects of destruction. While you were in the dark room of your life, doing the hard work of healing and rebuilding from the ground up, the narcissist was busy trying to set fire to your foundation. But here’s the thing about fire: it requires constant feeding. They have spent a decade being professional haters, and when they finally stop to look at their own life, they realize they have built nothing. They have no real accomplishments, genuine skills, or legacy. They built a massive monument to your destruction, but when they finally finalized it, they realized they were the only ones living inside it. You, meanwhile, have used those same years to become a more refined, capable, and successful version of yourself.
Reason 3: No Internal Engine, Running Out of Fuel
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